Hero
by Jessiy Landroz
Summary: A sleepless night in the life of a superhero. Greddix centric [OneShot]


Staring blankly at the blank, dim lit, white ceiling above me, I sighed.

He's gone, I can't believe it, I still can't believe he's really gone.

Our father! Our own father! Murdered by his children! Gone!

… gone.

With a disgusted grunt, I ignored the heat prickling the back of my eyes, stinging them, making them water, and turned in my bed, twisting around. Trying desperately to find a more comfortable position, trying not to dwell too deep into the guilt; after all, we had no other choice, we've fought him countless times, and it was about time we had put an end to the fight.

With a heavy breath escaping my lips, I lay flat on my stomach, chin buried into the pillow. I was glad that my bed is sturdy and can handle someone, or something, as my bulk, weight and size.

It's so hard to find good furniture these days.

I pulled at my soft, cool pillow, pulling it from under my heavy head, and press-flattened it over my head, completely kicking off the bed sheets. It's so damn hot tonight, I can't sleep!

Yet still, I can't stop thinking about it.

I know we were doing the right thing, we were stopping him from doing a big mistake. It was the only choice we had, the only way, the only available option! We had to make the sacrifice, either sacrifice the whole city for the sake of trying to save this one person, who was, at one time, our loving dear father; or sacrifice one person, to spare the lives of millions of innocent people.

The answer was pretty obvious, but- yet- it hurts! God, it hurts!

I know we were doing the right thing, we've taken the right and correct choice, but why does it still hurt so damn much? Why can I accept the truth that he's no longer here? That he's no longer a part of our lives! That we wont have to face him, to face our past, the hurt, the-

There was a knock on my bedroom door, "Greddix?" I heard his soft, shy voice outside my room.

I sighed, figuring he must've had a nightmare again, so I moved away the pillow and called out, "It's open."

I lay still, on the bed and on my side, my back to the bedroom door, facing the blank wall, not bothering to turn and face my little brother. I listened to the soft hiss of my bedroom door, as it slowly slid open, allowing the rectangle shaped patch of light, to shine through the doorway and cast half it's light on me, before he walked in, and it closed up behind him, blocking the light, allowing the dimness in my room to linger once more.

The room isn't really all that dark; there are big windows allowing the starlit sky to shine down on me, into the room, from the heavens above. I always find comfort in clear nights, watching the stars from my bedroom floor, it's a pastime I grew to appreciate, because being a superhero and all, sometimes I don't get the chance to lazy in bed, to do nothing at all, but my own thing.

As for now, feeling him sit on my bedside, leaning back, his shell half pressed against mine, his head resting on my shoulder as his hand touched the back of my head, caressing the skin there. I smiled faintly with his touch, I find it very comforting. It's like every time he needs a friendly ear, or a brother to turn back to, he come to me, sitting quietly on my bedside and says nothing.

Blobboid had always been the most emotional one, aside being the youngest, character wise, seeing we really don't know how old we really are. That never stopped us from being brothers. Shelly and Gravi pretty much let him vent it out openly whenever he wanted, cause we all know it hurts to see him suffer, wallowing in his sadness, not letting it out. Last time he kept it to himself, was when father first got possessed, a while before he escaped his confinement unit and trashed out home during his escape, and Bee got so sick, too ill and so weak, it scared me sh!tless for days!

I didn't know what to do, what to think! All I could do was stay at his bedside, talking to him, comforting him, and sometimes, let him cry on my shoulder. Thankfully, he got better, much to our relief.

Sometimes, I envy him, it makes me wish if I could drop the macho-façade, and let myself cry openly for a change, but I know I can't. After all, I have a reputation to watch out for, being a bit of a hotheaded, hardheaded jerk.

Besides, my family needs me, to be strong, tough shell! I'm not supposed to cry, to show weakness, it'll only hinder us, make us weak. We can't afford that, not now, now when the hurt is still so fresh in our minds.

But sometimes, it hurts too much! It hurts too much to bear!

We might be mutant turtles, with super powers, but we hurt physically and emotionally as well!

We're- despite our appearance, we are human!

I mean, if it had not been for Michelangelo's help, our city would have disappeared into ash, into utter and complete nothingness! By none other than our father! Our _father!_ Or ex-father, for that matter. He would have thoughtlessly annihilated our very existence, along with the rest of the city and it's inhabitants, simply because we refused to join his forces, to be by his side.

To keep him alive, to serve him with blind loyalty, and to let him hurt those around us, or to reject his offer, to protect everyone and hurt him, that was the most painful choice we have ever had to endure.

The mere thought of what could have happened, if we had not stopped him, lingered in the back of my mind, and it still hurts. I can't stand the thought! He was our father! And we killed him with cold blood! We trapped him in his own plan; we heartlessly _left_ him there to _die!_ We- we _left_ him, we _abandoned_ him! We- no matter how I look at it, I feel- that we _betrayed_ him!

"Grid? You okay?" he asked quietly, timidly, and I felt his cool hand touch my rocky body.

I realized my body was trembling with emotion, my eyes were wet and my tears were gently tapping the bed sheets. I sniffed, collecting what was left of my dignity, rubbing my snout with the back of my hand, "Me? Oh, yeah, sure I'm fine! I'm just dandy!" I laughed, scorning my very existence, voice low, growling and bitter, I huffed out a hot breath, trying to calm myself, but I couldn't leave the hate and anger out of my voice, "We just killed our father! I couldn't be any happier!" I spat, staring at the wall, holding in my temper, swallowing my tears.

He flinched, I could feel him scooting away, moving away his hand, "I- I'm sorry." He sniffed, whimpering.

I sighed heavily, tiredly, squeezing my eyes tightly, before I pushed myself off the bed, letting my feet touch the cool marble tiles on the floor, before pulling them up, sitting with my legs crossed, I looked at him. Blobboid, he looked at me with those sad, scared puppy eyes of his, so I forced a small smile and opened my arms wide, "Come here."

He scooted closer, his eyes wide and glassy with tears, he extended his rubbery arms, and then wrapped then securely around my neck, I held him in a hug, "I miss him." he sniffed again, suppressing tears.

"Me too." I gently wrapped my arms around him, holding him gently, not wanting to harm him.

Though I can't hurt him even if I wanted, seeing our elements are so different, mismatched, they don't affect one another. I mean, after all! Blobboid always says that, although I look like I'm made of stone, in which I'm not, I've got the softest heart alive on the face of this planet.

As if I'd want him to shove something as embarrassing as like _that_ in my face! Bah!

But at any case, is _it_ true! I may not be made of stone, but I _am_ a softie deep inside! I admit it!

But at least with my adjustable body, I can grow bigger in size whenever I want, and even shrink back to my actual size as well; I'm actually seven feet tall, the biggest among my brothers, not to mention the toughest and heaviest. Bee is about five and a half feet tall, and the softest and the second lightest after Graviturtle, if not the leanest one in the bunch.

While my baby brother, Blobboid, or Bee here, is more like rubbery, stretching slime, he claimed that he's a mix of water and air elements, -too many comic books if you ask me- he can slip into those tiny places that the others and I can't.

One thing for certain, I can't hurt him, because he'll slip right through, from between my fingers.

It's always been like that, ever since we were kids, a little while before we even realized we had these powers, and started using them. Back then, Splinter, our dear, kindhearted and beloved father, he was new to these powers as well, and he trained us on how to use them, to protect ourselves and each other, while accustoming himself to the possibilities.

He taught us how to protect each other, one of his very first few lessons; how to protect those who need protection, how to make use of every skill and every option we had available, to make sure we're doing the right thing, to teach us not to misuse these powers. Soon, the humans counted us as heroes, we were welcomed, and we moved out of the sewers into the human world.

Look what happened to him now. Murdered by his children.

Once we defeated Slither, that wretched alien blob from beyond time and space, he possessed our father's mind, blinding him with the power, overpowering him, brainwashing him, possessing him, and our dear father Splinter, had surrendered to the foul little fend, after many painful months of constant struggle. Our father was contained in the confinement unit, and no sooner had he escaped, he became the evil villain, Silver.

Shellectro blamed himself, he said that if only he had not fallen to that sob story trick, he wouldn't have released our father, and he wouldn't have escaped, then maybe, just maybe, he would have found a way to extract that fend from our father's mind.

But it was already too late.

Then what happened after that?

We lost hope, for a long period of time, and during that long time or hurt, we were much younger, and we weren't used on going about our life without our father, leading us and showing us the way. We depended on him too much, we trusted him, we relayed our deepest fears and secrets to him, never did we stop to think that maybe, just _maybe_, something will happen to him, that he would be turned against us.

Unfortunately, there was no way for us to bring back our father, the father we knew and loved. To us, back at those days, all was lost, for Slither had completely possessed him, mind and soul.

Gravi prayed that there was a way for us to get our father back, a cure of some sort, and we all feared the final battle. Shelly was always on edge, he hated it when Gravi tried to forget who Silver was, to end his life, and they'd end up in a fight.

It's funny, you know? There was a time where Shelly and Gravi were best of friends, same with me and Blob, brothers and all. Our brotherhood was strong and fierce, nothing could come between us, no one could take us apart.

One day, it all changed, we lost our father to the darkness, our links weakened, and we started doubting each other.

I hated that time of our life the most. Shelly and Gravi couldn't stand one another anymore, they were like a cat and dog, hissing and barking, and throwing pointless hissy fits at each other! They just couldn't stop b!tching at each other.

Father was our mental connection, he always knew what to do, he always comforted us, guided us through every problem and fix, finding the best solution to whatever it is we face, but ever since he ditched us for the power and evil, the darkness that had possessed him, we were lost, we were like helpless little kids, I hated it, it was the weakest time of our life.

"Grid," Bee murmured softly, his arms around my neck, and his cool skin pressed against mine, his sobbing and whimpering had died down slowly, and his throbbing heart had calmed down quite the bit as well, "do you think that- if we were just average, mutated turtles, kinda like Michelangelo; do you think our life would have been any easier?" he sniffed, his cool snout rubbed the side of my neck.

I gave his back a small pat, "It's hard to say." I replied at first, being honest, "I've never thought of going a day without my powers, so it's kinda hard to think how our life could have been like, if we didn't have them." I looked up at the ceiling window, wondering about Michelangelo's current whereabouts, "Besides, from what I know, a ninja's life isn't an easy one, either."

He sniffled and held on tighter, and I could feel the tears gathering, sliding off his face and trickling over my skin. I held him tighter, giving his back another comforting pat, but he just let out a small sob, hiccupping, sniffing and murmuring how much he'll miss father. It wasn't making my suppressed emotions any easier to bear with. With a heavy sigh, I found myself nuzzling him, my tears welling in my eyes, and I did not suppress them this time, I let them roll out, to slide on my face, to drip quietly on his shell.

It's hard, knowing you're a hero, and that you have to live to the expectations of the people around you.

But we're not perfect! We feel pain, despair, sadness and misery, too!

Its times like this that make me wonder, if our life is really wroth living. Maybe we should have stayed pet shop turtles, it if haven't been for that mixed concoction of doubled ooze, if the Utroms wouldn't have given us these powers, though by accident.

There was a knock on the door, and I flinched, same with Bee, he gasped and sniffled in start, before he slid off me, and we both stared at the door, slight unease and anxiety could be felt thick in the air.

Was it Shellectro or Graviturtle? We couldn't tell.

Bee started rubbing his eyes with the balls of his palm, rubbing away the tears as quickly as he could, before looking up at me with a sad little smile, his eyes still a bit puffy, so I just smiled back, rubbing away my own tears. He's the only one to see me cry, and he knows that I really don't want that piece of information public, so I needing worry about him telling anyone.

When the knocking returned, I called out, "It's open." there was a pause, before the door hissed, slipping open.

Shellectro stood at the door, dressed in his bright orange outfit, furrowing in slight worry, before his brow ridges arched wide, a smile placed on his face as he let out a relived sigh, a small sad smile and cupped his hip, "There you are," he chided gently as he made his way towards us, "Bee, I was looking all over for you." he sat at the bedside and gave our little brother a hug.

"Sorry." Bee sniffed and hugged back, "Is- um, how's Gravi?"

Shelly stiffened, and I caught glimpse of an angry flicker in his eyes, but he quickly hid it away, before slowly releasing our brother from the hug, he faked a smile, "A little peeved, but otherwise, he's okay." He informed.

I sensed something, something hot and dark about his aura; bottled rage I bet, but I knew Shelly would probably deny it, if I asked him about it, so I decided to change the subject.

"You wanted something?" I asked him, trying to sound casual.

He gave me an annoyed look, "No, I was just worried about Bee here, when I went to your bedroom and didn't find you there, I worried."

"Don't you always." I smirked, after all, Shelly's nick name is _mother hen_, if he doesn't worry, I don't know who will!

Bee dropped his gaze, "Sorry. I just cant sleep in my room anymore."

"Nightmares again?" Shelly asked, concern clear in his voice, he gave our brother's shoulder a rub.

Bee didn't answer, he just sighed and gave a small nod, sniffing a bit.

"About father?" Shelly asked, but when Bee dropped his head low and sniffed, he winced, "A! Sorry! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you!" He pulled our brother into another hug.

"It's- it's just like a nasty cut, you know?" Bee whimpered, breaking into tears again, crying on Shelly's shoulder, "It's cut so deep, I know it might heal after a while, but it'll still hurt and leave a scar, like a reminder." He hiccupped, wrapping his arms around a little tighter.

I hate it when Bee starts crying, it takes almost forever to sooth down his fears, his discomfort, and sometimes, it takes the three of us to calm him down. Shelly and Bee had been getting closer lately, and I like that, though I admit I'm a bit jealous, because I've always been Bee's only source of comfort, after father, ever since we were very small.

Although this means that though father is gone, out of our lives, permanently, we're still bonded together, we're still bothers, we still care about one another, when one of us is hurting, we feel it, we don't like it, and we try to make things better. We're still brothers, we love each other, and we know that we will only have each other to depend on.

I with I could say the same about Gravi, though.

He's so blank, so expressionless, it's hard to tell what he's thinking or feeling, and at some point, it- it irks me!

I remember when we were younger, Gravi used to be more emotional, so full of expression, and he used to be so easy to read. It was so much fun ticking him off, to bother him and see his animated face shift from one expression to another. But now? He hardly bats an eyelash when he's taken by surprise, or eyelid for that matter, seeing we're hairless.

He had become so hard to read, seeing that even his voice had become mostly flat.

I look at Bee and Shelly, and I listen to Shelly shush and coo our little brother. I can't help a little relieved smile. I spread my arms wide, pulling them both into a hug, tucking their head on each side of my neck. Bee flinched a little, but then snuggled into me, his rubbery arms circling me with ease. While Shelly bristled a little; he's not used on receiving affection, and quite honestly, I'm not one to give it often, so I can understand his weary smile.

"You're not going all soft on me now, are you Grid?" Shelly smirks at me, arching a brow ridge.

I grin and frown in the same time, "Tell, and I'll stuff you down an electric outlet." I threatened.

"Woo! Touchy tonight, aren't we!" he gave a small chuckle, but leaned against me anyway, not yet hugging.

Bee sniffed, pulling himself half-way from Shelly, he rubbed his snout and gave a small, shy smile, "Sorry, I guess I always keep you guys up at night." He rubbed his eyes again, "I just- I wish I weren't so darn emotional."

I gave his shoulder a small rub, nuzzling his forehead, "Hey, one of us has to be the emotional one." I lectured kindly, "How else are we to remember that we aren't machines, that we're living beings, that we're alive!" I told him with a smile, "It's okay."

He sniffed again, looking at me with those puppy eyes, "I dunno, Grid, sometimes I feel- like excess cargo; like I'm not being of any use."

"Don't say that!" Shelly chided gently, now gripping Bee's hands, clasping them together, before clasping his own hands over them, "Bee, you're our brother! No matter what happens, it'll always be that way!"

"That's right!" I added, "You're more important than you give yourself credit for!"

Bee lowered his gaze, "That's what I thought about dad." He sniffed again, looking away.

There was a moment of silence, and I could feel the heavy weight of it lingering over us, thick and suffocating. I hate it, when things turn out so glum, it makes me wish there was a way to ease the tension. Makes me wish I had a punching bag to vent my frustration on, just so I won't hurt anyone. Makes me wish one of us were some sort of comedian, maybe a little laugh would make thing better; but I guess being serious superheroes with so many evil baddies out there, there is no place for throwing jokes around, huh.

Abruptly, there was an alarm, red lights started flashing and the computer announced a mission.

At the loud signal for a mission, we looked at each other.

Our brotherly moment disturbed, we knew there was no time, we have to make a move on. Blobboid stiffened for a moment catching his breath, before he frowned, he pushed himself off the bed, away from us then rubbed the remaining tears away. He turned to look at us with a sad, yet brave little smile, as if comforting us, telling us he'll be alright, that it's time to go.

Like usual, we let it go, we exit the room and met with GT, or Graviturtle, at the viewing monitor.

Seems Karaina is at it again, won't that lady ever give up? We've kicked her butt many times, so why won't she get the message already? She's all washed up now that Slither and Silver are gone.

Well, yeah, Slither was her boss, before he possessed our father, so big deal! He's all washed up and sucked down the drain now, he's gone, done and over with! If she's so obsessed about following him, about avenging him, about tossing her hissy fits at us, I've got no qualms about tossing her down the gutter, too! Yeah, just like the piece of trash she is!

And if she tried to seduce Gravi again, I'm gonna kick that prissy ass of hers all the way to next week!

At any case, it's another day, another battle, another butt to kick.

Our wounds will heal with time, and we'll recover, one day, someday, but just like Bee said, they're cut deep, and though they might heal in no time, they'll still leave a scare, reminding us of what we have done, what we have lost.

The sin we have committed.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't have these powers, I wish I didn't have to sacrifice my father for these humans.

But- a superhero's gotta do what a superhero's gotta do.

It's our way of life, and I have no idea how else I'm supposed to live it.

After all, it's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

**-END?-**

Xxxxxxxxxxx

A/N: just wanted to write something from superhero-Raph/Greddix's point of view. I mean, the hero turtles are still the turtles, but with super powers, right? They need their own fandom, or better yet, a comeback in another episode, (or fanfics for that matter) don't you agree?


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